In Which Funcles and Felines Both Play a Role

The other day John decided I was a Cat Person because I spend a lot of my time here in Greece checking out the feline population (it's not my fault - they're everywhere and a bunch of 'em are cute. Not to mention, the ones that AREN'T cute tend to have some sort of fascinating deformation that begs to be ogled).

Now, in and of itself, I do not mind being a cat person. I like cats, after all. But John had decided I was a Cat Person who must be bought Cat Things. This, THIS was the point where something had to be done to correct this impression. I could already see my future unfolding in my head: John buys me one or two cat themed items. I bring them back to the states. Friends in the states see these cat items. They think to themselves "oh! Easy gift idea! Hannah = cat things!" Allofasudden, my life is filled with kitty tape dispensers, kitty water bottles, kitty magnets and kitty sheets. For. The. Rest. Of. My. Life. I know this happens. I've seen it. Heck, I'm GUILTY of it: Jill gets anything leopard print. An old housemate from college gets stuck with giraffe-themed items. I give DeBob, well, cat things (but only few and far between! And only the GOOD ones!!!! Right, DeBob? ...right?). And when John said, "Hannah! I saw this great CAT LAMP I think you should have! You have to come see it!" I immediately and unequivocally said "OH HELLS NO JOHN. YOU ARE NOT BUYING ME THAT CAT LAMP NO WAY NO HOW."

He was a bit shocked by my strong reaction. He was hurt that I didn't want to even SEE the lamp first, that I just destroyed his lampy dream without giving it a second thought. He thought I LIKED cats. Why wouldn't I want a lamp that looked like one??

Later that day I decided the best way to describe my relationship to John to other people was as an Uncle. A fun Uncle. A Funcle!!! John reacted the same way to THAT idea as I had to the cat lamp (to refresh: no way no how). In fact, he told me that every time I used that term he would be buying me another cat-related item. I told him every time he bought me a cat-related item I'd be calling him my Funcle. We had reached an impasse.

Fast forward to today, January 7th, and the National Name Day for Johns in the Eastern church. It's a big deal, apparently. It's as important as a birthday (if not more important). Obviously, I got John a present.

I call it "Preemptive Strike".



(And oh, by the way. We ended up popping into the lamp store regardless of my protests. The lamp in question wasn't EXACTLY like this one, but it was pretty darn close.)