In Which We Hold Down the Fort

A day or two ago David attempted to leave a comment on this puppy and was thwarted by my stringent requirements that one MUST have an account on blogspot in order to do so. I had no idea my comment options were so delightfully exclusive! But, due to my highly spiritual journey through India, I decided that exclusivity is bad kharma, at least when it comes to blogs, and I have now successfully switched my options settings to allow comment equality among all, whether they are of the blogging class or a member of the anonymous internet-using masses.

So, where were we? Ah yes, let us go back to Jaisalmer...

Jaisalmer was a delightful location to rest our camel-weary hides, a place we could truly let our guard down as we were protected by a desert fortress, a fortess that had yet, in centuries of existence, to fall to enemy attack. The only thing to be wary of were the ruthless shop vendors, who were relentless in their pursuit of our Indian monopoly money. Therefore, we spent much of our time in Jaisalmer sprawled on our gorgeous hotel rooftop, whiling away the hottest part of the day on the shaded daybeds and chairs and catching up on the reading none of us had done since our journey began. We couldn’t spend ALL our time up there, however, and DID venture out during our stay in the Golden City. Some highlights:

Our first day there, and our last day with Roop, found the four of us headed out of the fort and to a historic Haveli, aka mansion, built by a rich dude back in the day and now transformed into a museum commemorating glory days gone by. It was quite impressive, with ornate carvings on the exterior and the faded glory of opulence once known contained within. Roop then hustled us off to the lake of Jaisalmer, where we rented a pedal boat and took a turn around the lake. The last time I attempted one of those was on a 7th grade field trip, and all of us were quickly reminded of how much effort it took to go the whopping 0.5 mph speed we obtained. After pedaling ferociously for about ten minutes (Roop put his feet up pretty early on, leaving just the three of us to provide the brute strength for locomotion), we reached a beautiful shaded island, where we were greeted by a gentleman all in white and requested to remove our shoes before stepping out onto land. Turns out this gentleman was one of the wealthiest in Jaisalmer, now retired and letting his 5 sons take care of him on his monthly income of 3 million rupees, or approximately $66,667. He gave us a brief history of his own life, which involved parachuting adventures as the first man from Jaisalmer to join the air force, his return to his homeland, the building of his very lucrative businesses, and his way of life now that work is no longer a part of it. He was also quite generous with his history lessons of Jaisalmer (we must have been there for 45 minutes or so), and entertained us with the following:
Ages ago, the king's concubine decided she wanted to build a structure to secure her place in the history books. After being denied permission by both the king and the entire royal family (she was a concubine, after all), she went the sneaky route and secretly constructed a stone gate to the lake, hiding the construction in the surrounding rural area. When the king left on a hunting trip, she acted fast. The gate was carted in and assembled in one day, and a temple to Vishnu was assembled on its crown. The king and royal family were outraged when they learned of her doing, even more so as the temple to Vishnu prevented them from tearing it down, as it would be considered an act of holy desecration to destroy a dwelling dedicated to the god. To this day, the gate still stands as the main entryway to the lake, and to this day, the royal family has yet to once pass through it, forever shunning the work of a royal hussy.
After our vigorous peddle back to shore (David, by the way, is quite a talented navigator), Roop gave us one last ride in the jeep we had come to know and love, and we bid a bittersweet farewell to our constant companion of the last few days, he to rush back to the desert to look after his neglected trekkers, and we back to our desert citadel. Sitaram, dear Roop, Sitaram.

I was told by a woman to whom we were chatting, "I love your hair! It looks just like NOODLES!!"

In another episode of Skills We Didn’t Know David Possessed, we found out he had quite the knack for bargaining vendors down to fractions of their preliminary asking price. Without giving away the purchase or the price, Evan and I watched a miraculous 20 minute haggling battle between David and Jacky, the bargaining opponent, which involved begging, pleading, cajoling, and a good dose of harsh truth, which left everyone sweating and David walking away with purchases gained at more than 60% off the initial offer. Well done, my friend. Our hats are off to you.

How they fix printers in Jaisalmer (this technique was employed at the Jaisalmer train station, where the ticket line came to a standstill when the ticket printer ceased to print): After poking at printer for about half an hour with finger, take printer in both hands and vigorously shake upside down, periodically banging on the bottom to excise any existing demons. When this fails to work, angrily declare the station closed and force everyone out.

A Brief Lesson in Bollywood film stars (as given by employees of Paradise Hotel, when we all sat around watching Bollywood films on tv): Today’s Lesson: Salman Khan Vs. Shah-Rukh Khan.
Salman Khan is perhaps the biggest Bollywood star in India today. He’s handsome, ripped, and blessed with devastatingly long lashes, not to mention the way he dances and sings his way through Bollywood blockbuster after Bollywood blockbuster. Women want him, men want to be him. Shah-Rukh Khan, on the other hand, is a little less of a star, a little less handsome, a little less devastating. But! According to our friends at the Paradise, it is truly Shah-Rukh who deserves the stardom, the limelight, and all the attention being currently fawned on Salman. For, in real life, Salman is a rake and a rapscallion, a man who lives only for his own pleasure, which takes the form of booze and women, and a man who feels he is above the law. This latter claim seems to ring true, as a few years ago he ran over four people sleeping in the street when driving whilst intoxicated, killing one and injuring the others (they had no other place to sleep, being of the poverty stricken masses). Apparently he spent a grand total of 3 hours in jail, paid off the families, and that was the end of THAT. Shah-Rukh, on the other hand, is a sweet, gentle family man, whose acting skills far outweigh those of Salman, and whose morals are on a par Salman could never hope to attain. For homework, read pp. 301-342 in the textbook and write a brief paragraph summarizing what you’ve learned.

David taught Evan and I the game he calls "Jungle Golf," a card game that saved us during perhaps the most laughably awful dining experience thus far. We sat down to eat at the "Hollyday Inn Rooftop Restaurant," ordered, and David dealt the cards while we settled in for the customary 25 minute wait for food. After a half an hour, the only other table in the restaurant was served their meal, and we were all a bit taken aback as we had assumed when we arrived they had already eaten and were hanging about to chat. Oh no. Turns out they had been there for an hour and a half already and were JUST being served, as the only customers in the tiny restaurant. Already annoyed, they decided enough was enough when they deemed the dishes to be cold, and all got up to leave. Evan, David, and I were left as the only customers on the rooftop, where we heard a scuffle downstairs as the owner and customers fought over the bill (as in, they didn’t want to pay it and the owner insisted they did). The fighting got closer and closer as they moved it back up to the roof, where the owner grabbed the dish in question and said "What do you mean this is cold?!?! This dish is fine!!" He then proceeded over to our table and insisted we feel the dish and give our opinion (I mumbled a "I really don’t want to get in the middle of this" and Evan gave the classic "Uh, I wasn’t paying attention" response. You know, not paying attention to the vicious argument happening about three inches from our table.). There was much storming about, and they finally moved it downstairs, where I assume the customers left without paying and the owner, who was also our waiter, was officially put in the Best Mood Ever. It was suddenly eerily quiet and we sat in an uncomfortable silence, wondering if perhaps we should leave too, and then just stayed put as it seemed easier to stay, and besides, we had discovered Jungle Golf!
About an hour later (right on time…), our food came out, along with a few things we hadn’t ordered and no way to eat them due to lack of serving utensils and anything to put the food on. We sent back the things we hadn’t requested (the owner insisted we HAD ordered them, oy vey), and then finally got our required eating hardware after a few sly hints of "Excuse me, would it be possible to get some plates?" We were, in the end, just relieved to get some food and pay the bill and leave as soon as we could, and to his credit, the owner came up later and apologized, citing being short-staffed with only one guy in the kitchen. You know, for the six customers he had that night. He seemed so stressed out we felt bad for him, but dang, was that a dining experience we didn’t look to replicate, especially as the food ended up causing some stomach problems later that night. Thank goodness, however, that THAT has been the only dining failure thus far. Everything else has been on a scale from Delicious to Superb.

And those, I believe, are the better stories from our Deliciously Superb fortress stay. All in all, it was fantastic, and I fell completely in love with the rooftop sunsets, and playing Jungle Golf on the roof in the afternoons, and planning our Paradise Fusion rooftop restaurant with the hotel employees, and gazing upon the incredible desert views available from any high point within the majestic fort. Too soon, we packed up once again, and motored down to the train station for our overnight journey back to Jodhpur.